Decide where you are willing to bend a little, and where there is no room for discussion. Stand firm on a what is really important to you and where safety is an issue. Discuss these issues when the kids aren't around and the focus is on the issues at hand.

In order for me to answer your question, it depends on what you are arguing about. You should try not to argue with your spouse in front of your kids. Rather than just letting things slide to be a good example to your kids, you should let your ex-spouse know that you will discuss this, but at the appropriate time. Never back down on what you strongly believe in, but you also need to look at are you sweating the small stuff, because it’s small stuff…

Pick your battles. Express your values and principles that should help keep the peace. As the mother and former step parent, I can attest to keeping the peace is only a way of prolonging the war. Seriously, there is a way to compromise and try different things. Agree to disagree. Like I tell my clients if all else fails hire a mediator or Life Coach to help move the relationship forward. Life has a funny way of making new problems after you out grow the old. Being healthy together as parents teaches our children how to deal with their difficulties in life. It does get better. Two years is nothing when you compare the years to come. You might end up friends. After all you had something together or you would not have those wonderful children to raise. Enjoy it goes fast.

As a divorced Mom myself I have found that it is important to stick to my principles while choosing which battles are worth fighting for. I "stuck to my guns" on the issues that were the most important for my child's welfare in the long run. He is now 24. And I must say this tactic has paid off big time! It was ugly for awhile during his teen years. But now that he is an adult, he repects my earlier decisions and loves me even more for them.

I believe the issues should be discussed away from the children. If I don't agreed with something my husband has decided, I will ask him if we can go to another room to discuss it before a final decision is made. There must be compromise. Even though I might feel my decision is best, that might change after hearing his reasons for making the decision he did and vice versa.

I am almost to the end of an eleven year divorce with our seventeen year old son. It has only become easier because we talk only about our sons life. He is the grade police and also constantly tells me how to spend the child support. I fostered the relationship between the two of them for seven years and at that point it was not working and I felt it was up to he and his son to make progress. First I choose my battles and only objected to the issues that I felt would cause psychological harm such as alcohol consumption and discussing my shortcomings or our problems. Later when he remarried I fostered that relationship also but his new wife did not want to step parent so I let that go early. The relationship with my ex- husband will never be great or I would still be with him right? So, Keep the peace only if it is something that is not going to be life changing such as religious beliefs or negative behavior when they visit. It has been my experience that if it gets too tough get some help from a coach or therapist to help you through the rough spots which for me were validation for how I was feeling or reacting. Just wait until you see your exhusband show up in their mannerisms. Raising children is different with each situation. It is close to the end of the raising part for me and with not a regret I will still miss him and wonder if I did the right thing. Children feel our emotions so make sure to not stuff your feelings even if you can write to get it out if it is one of those battles you have decided to let go.
Enjoy your boys, they grow so fast.