My husband and I are both 41. We have a wonderful 4 and half yr old daughter. But like so many who felt that it would be all they'd ever want, we came to recognise that once you start a family - it's no longer just about what the couple needs. The desire to give our daughter a sibling is almost as strong as wanting a child in the first instance. While we still haven't put it out of our minds, every day I stop to give thanks for this amazing person we've been entrusted with. Whatever happens, I pray that we have the grace to accept and appreciate what we have and the wisdom to know when to stop...

You're a nurse, you know the risks. Follow your heart.

Yes.

I really think Kelley shouldn't get pregnant again; her life is rich right now and she and her husband can provide their one child very well financially and emotionally.

Hi Kelly, Good luck with your difficult decision. My opinion is to let things be the way they are currently - that you are trying the good old fashioned way of becoming pregnant, but not to take it the next step farther by seeking professional help. I am 47 and have learned over the years, just like you said, what is meant to be will be. I have 3 children (ages 16, 14 and 13) so I do see the benefits of siblings; however, I wanted to mention this idea to you. Our two oldest are girls, my 13 year old is our son. This past September we have become a host family to a 16-yr old boy from South Korea. He is living with us and attending high school. My son is thrilled to have a built in "big brother". They get a long so wonderfully and I believe have formed a "brotherly-bond" that will extend past the time we have agreed to host our newest son. I would suggest that later, when your son is older, and you see that a sibling companionship may become more important, then you consider something along these lines. Whatever you decide, best of luck!

My husband and I traveled a long, hard road to have our daughter - treatments, surgeries, drugs, etc. - when she arrived, healthy and beautiful, we were absolutely weak with love. We were so happy, we decided to try again right away. Months of trying and one failed procedure made us take a step back. We discovered we actually have the perfect balance with our family as is - plenty of time for our daughter, time for us as a couple and time for ourselves as individuals. While another baby would be a joy, we are so happy with our life just as it is and thankful for our blessings. In our case, it seems that less is really more.

From a Male perspective...keep trying! I am 49 and started late. I have a 4 1/2 year old an a 14 month old, both girls. They keep me young (we'll see how they age me in a few years!). Sounds like you are a great, loving mother. You need another (hopefully a little girl, but I am biased!). GO FOR IT!

Kelley - My kids are five years apart and, like you, we struggled with the decision to have the second. At first, we were content with our little family of three - especially after nearly four years! But, the desire to give our daughter a sibling began to weigh more heavily on our decision. We decided to go for it and last summer we had a beautiful baby boy who is adored by his big sister and who has changed our family for the better. The fact that you are disappointed each month that you're not pregnant tells me the time just might be right. Best of luck!!

Listen to your heart. There are pros and cons for every decision that we make in life. It is often difficult to "know" what is going to be the right thing to do. The only way that I know is to listen to my heart. We had two wonderful little boys 18 months apart and for a long time, we felt that we were just too busy to include another child into the mix. But after some time passed,my husband and I both felt that there was something missing... or someone missing. We had our third child when our boys were 7 1/2 and 6 and our third son is the light of all of our lives.

It's a leap of faith for you, your husband, and your son! Although I have three wonderful little girls, I often think about the children living in orphanges and foster homes. Perhaps being a hero to one of these children would be fufilling for you and your family.

I am a 36 year old only child. Most of the time I am very content with that, but there are times I wish I had a sibling or two! Follow your heart and best wishes to you!

I share the same story and decision. I'm 45 years old also. My son is six years old. I had a miscarriage when he was three years old and another one last year. I want another child, but I husband is perfectly happy with one. We are very blessed to have this child. I do not obsess over another child because I feel that this would take away from the wonderful blessing that we do have. I come from a large family and my sisters and I are close. They each have three kids and my son is arond them a lot. He has a special bond with my neice who is 18 months older than him. I'm a working mom and a mom that is not very organized. I have come to accept that I probably would not be able to handle another babe. My son doesn't want another one. We are of the mindset that if we have another one --great. If not, we are so blessed.

Relax. There are gifts out there to discover, and another child might be one of those gifts, no matter what packaging they are lovingly wrapped in, be in health or physical struggles. Life is to be experienced. Take a deep breath, relax, and step forward both feet together and smile - here it comes!

If you're considering it, and you want a child... go for it. No one can make that decision for you! I had my son at 23, and even with a great pregnancy, I had health complications that resulted in a 36 week c-section, with my son in the hospital for 10 days. There's no right time to have kids... if it's not meant to be, it won't happen!

I'm not a mother yet but hope to be. I'm 42 and not married. I'm dating a man who is 48 and we talk about having a child. We may start trying before we get married because time is of the essence. Don't plan to do IVF is we don't conceive naturally. I'm one of nine and my mom had her last one at 44. Love having lots of siblings, but that's my experience. If I had no siblings and that's all I knew then I'm sure I would have loved that experience. But my parents chose and brought me into this world. So I feel for you. Always go with your gut feelings and not what you "think." Feelings are never wrong. Good luck and God bless.

I tried for 5 years to have a second child. I saw specialists, and did in vitro 17 times. When all was said and done, my husband and I found we were very happy as a family of three, and were able financially to offer our only child a lot more than had we had two children. I feel very blessed to have been able to bring one child into the world; I tell people that God gave me one chance to do it right. And I did.

As the mother of an unhealthy child I have to say that you would not love him/her any less. Any time a child is conceived there is risk. Previous to my daughter's diagnosis I thought that having an unhealthy child would be the worst possible thing, but it has actually been a blessing. Our family has learned a lot. Though it has and will continue to be a long hard road, I wouldn't change my daughter at all.

I think you are right on. Keep trying the old fashion way for a year or two (as long as you feel comfortable) and if it doesn't happen, continued to feel blessed with the beautiful family you have.

I'm an only child and have never felt like I've lacked something without a sibling. In fact, some of my other only children friends feel that in a way we're more loyal to our friends, because that's who we rely on for support. I ended up marrying into a large family, and they're enough for both of us to handle! Your child will be happy no matter what because of you and your husband, not because of a sibling, so do what you truly feel is right for the family you have now.

My mother was 36 (and my father 53) when I arrived in 1985. At the time she faced a lot of naysayers who were convinced that, at that time, she was too old to start a family. I'm 22 now and have always been a perfectly healthy and happy child (so has my brother who was born 14 months after me). I am very happy to be the child of older parents as they prepared for me and have provided for me in ways that my friends' younger parents could not. I am always thankful to have parents who are financially secure, stable in their careers, and brimming with life experience. Of course, their unconditional love is the best gift of all. Go for it--your child will grow up with lots of love and that's really all that anyone needs.

If you are driven by love to have another child, don't even think about illness or complications. You are simply trying to create a child, and enlarge your family, through love. What will be will be. The fact that you met your husband when you were thirty eight, puts you in this position. Therefore, you will simply do what you have to do. It's easy for me to talk - I have two healthy children, 16 and 20, and I'm now 49, but nearly ten years ago we lost my nephew to spinal muscular atrophy. So I know (a bit) about sadness and loss. But our family would never ever have given up the chance of Shane. Keep loving your son and husband; your expectations of another year or two are realistic, and if you should not conceive, yes, you will deal with that sadness. And then your family will be what it is meant to be.

I am an only child and as an adult wish I wasn't. I didn't grow up around extended family as we were overseas. I feel like I am missing out on great joys by not having a sibling. We have 2 daughters and I am so glad I could give them the gift of each other.

Also, may I offer adoption and an option? I know it scares many people - the risks, the cost, the challenges, the unknown...but isn't it the same with pregnancy, labor and delivery? The difference with adoption, and something you can tell your child later in life, is that you CHOSE him/her. You and your husband wanted another baby so bad you went looking and found the person to complete your family. Adoptive parents are very special people.

In my experience, I've rarely regretted the things I've done, but often regret the things I haven't done. If you don't see a specialist or try other viable alternative you will always wonder what your life would be like, and whether anything else can fill that void of disappointment you feel now. I say go for it!

I've heard so many stories of when people weren't even trying and of my 3 boys, I only planned one and that one took us a year to have!! My boys are 12, 8 and 7 and I am 45 years old, my dh turned 50 this past year. Our boys' keep us young and keep us running. You know that nowadays, women are taking better care of themselves as well as have better medical care during the pregnancies. Here's an encouraging story too...my youngest sister is 7 also!! My stepmom is 50, like my husband and she and my dad were quite shocked to find themselves pregnant 7 years old. They both had a healthy pregnancy and birth!! Good luck with whatever your future holds!

Count your blessings and enjoy what you have. You have a healthy child and your family is in tact. Raising children is a lifelong adventure, which I am sure no matter how many children you have, will fill your life with unimaginable events.

Trust your instincts, if it is meant to be, it will be.