Simply Stated- Blogs - Adventures in Chaos- Real Simple

...no matter when we get up. First of all, thanks to all of you who responded to my very unscientific poll. Second, I’m amazed at the level of extreme organization some of you exhibit. I for one rarely do all of the night-before things (pack backpacks, put coats and shoes by the door, make snacks, make sure homework is in appropriate binders) that I know I’m supposed to do.

Third, here is the chaotic reality that led to my question in the first place:

In my house, Eldest has to leave home at 7:10 to get to middle school on time. He sets his cell phone alarm, which very loudly goes off at 6:13. He then immediately turns it off. I march in around 6:35 to wake him; he showers, gets dressed, feeds the dog, has breakfast, brushes his teeth, sometimes gets Baby out of his crib, grabs backpack, coat and lunch money and is out the door to walk to school at 7:10. (He does not make his bed — yes, failure #857 in my mothering.)

Middle Child I wake up at 7:30 or so to struggle to get out of the house at 8:10. He immediately says “Five more minutes,” which I may or may not grant, depending on the day. He does not shower in the morning because it takes too long if he does. He is not allowed to read during breakfast because then it might take an hour to eat. He has to feed no pets. He insists on watching the Top Ten on ESPN even though it almost makes me pull my hair out, and unfortunately my sports fanatic husband does not back me up on this one. He is organized, so his shoes are always by the door and he always remembers exactly where his coat/hat/mittens/backpack are. He is just slow as molasses. (His older brother, in contrast, moves quickly but is very disorganized and never knows where anything is. He is also having a current problem involving a mystifying lack of shirts and won’t wear long-sleeved shirts even in the winter. Don’t get me started.) You may ask why I don’t just wake him earlier, which would be the logical thing to do, but that just takes us to my obsession with my children’s lack of sleep, which is a whole other story.

As for the baby, too early to tell.

Now, there are countless factors that make me veer from my normal course in the hours between when I wake up (anywhere between 5 and 6:15) and 8:10 (when presumably the big kids are either at or en route to school, the baby has been fed and I am fully ready for work). Many of these will look familiar, but here’s a sample list of obstacles, and the minutes they add to the morning routine, if you can call it that:

- I have to do work at home: 30 min

- It is library day; books nowhere to be found: 8 min

- I have to write an extra-long note to our babysitter: 6 min

- My husband is playing ultimate frisbee/at the gym/won’t get up before 7:35: 18 min

- Middle needs help tying new shoes that have unusually short laces: 2 min

- Baby soaked through his onesie: 2 min

- Dog threw up during the night: 4 min

- Eldest can't find his jacket: 5 min

- Baby needs fingernails clipped: 1 min

- I have to fill out a field trip permission form and find scissors, money and an envelope: 7 minutes

- Eldest can't find cellphone: 5 min to search, 3 min to stomp around and berate him under my breath

- Baby laughs at my tooth brushing, so I brush longer to watch him laugh: 1 min

- Both my husband and I forget to make Middle's snack, then dash around, semi-arguing: 5 min

- I sit down while I eat my cereal: 4 min

- Middle decides at the last minute that he needs to decorate the cardboard Iroquois long house that we made over the weekend that he is sharing in class today and no, two paper trees is not enough: 15 min

- We can't find any lunch money for Eldest: 2 min

- Baby is fussy and has to be carried everywhere: 7 min

- I hate my outfit: 0 min, because once I get dressed, I don’t change. Alas. And yes, I often regret it all day.

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